No woman in the history of film has ever been as horny as Sarah Sanderson in Hocus Pocus
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) October 11, 2020
spelling bee judge: your word is “steve”
starbucks barista: oh no
— Abbie (@AbbieEvansXO) October 14, 2020
i laugh at my own jokes bc i am my target audience. y’all just happen to be there fr
— እምነተ (@emnetee) October 12, 2020
My favorite genre of movie is “someone coughs blood into a napkin and then doesn’t tell anyone “
— raina (@quakerraina) October 14, 2020
Another week?? Right after we JUST had one?? Okay… not sold on all that but I’ll give it a shot I guess
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) October 12, 2020
Dolly Parton has been married for 54 years and I have never seen her husband not one time ???? goals?
— Fawn Moscato (@tinnkky) October 9, 2020
interview with the vampire would be much more compelling if the vampire was actually just interviewing for a job at old navy
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) October 10, 2020
At my age, I can send a text at 10:35 and be asleep at 10:35:10. ????????????♂️
— ????❤️ (@uhpromise) October 11, 2020
my therapist: you’re a good person
me: oh no I’ve tricked you…