I always had a feeling that Justin Bieber might have a pivotal role to play when the apocalypse came, and now look at what he’s done. In a year engulfed by the coronavirus pandemic, last week’s announcement of a Bieber x Crocs collab appears to be a point of no return. 

While I never actually went to Sunday school, plague, pestilence, Crocs being cool … I’m fairly sure it’s all there filed under PANIC! So why is it that I’m now strangely drawn to the foamy clog?

You can’t argue that they provoke opinion. From novelty to confusion, derision to hatred and now … love. Throw in a few Elvis Costello tracks and you’ve got a perfectly good Working Title movie. But as it turns out, there is a season for all brands. Crocs was just waiting for the one that included a virus that made us all stay home and demand comfort.

In truth, the rehabilitation of a shoe voted one of the worst 50 inventions of all time by Time magazine has been motoring for some time, and the last few years have seen Samuel Thompson’s creation move stealthily (and astonishingly) into hypebeast territory. 

Years ago, when writing fashion stories for Esquire I would laugh maniacally on receipt of a…