As A Kid I Was Told Armageddon Was Near, So I Wouldn’t Need A Job. Now I’m A BDSM Model.


My teacher, having asked everyone who got 10 out of 10 right on the spelling test to put their hand up, went on to ask who got 9 out of 10. She proceeded from there, down to 4 out of 10. I put my hand up. I actually got 1 out of 10, but didn’t want to admit I didn’t study for the test. She wouldn’t have understood why.

I was 9 years old and I wasn’t going to grow up. I didn’t need to learn to spell because I’d never need a job. It was 1986, my family were Jehovah’s Witnesses, and the JW governing body was confidently predicting that Armageddon would arrive by the mid-1990s. Everyone who survived that would live forever in Paradise on earth. We were promised this at each of the thrice-weekly meetings we attended. In Paradise, we’d build log cabins, make friends with wild animals and spend our time picking fruit with other Jehovah’s Witnesses. This was all lovingly illustrated for us in the Jehovah’s Witness literature.

I tried to suppress the panic I felt…



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